just ... there’s just a chicken there now

there was not a chicken the last time I was in the office. I asked my coworker who sits next to me and she had no idea how it got there. I just have a chicken now

however according to her the previous office manager used to throw chickens (?) at people (?????) so there are a lot of chickens

which is true, there are some taped to the ceiling

so a chicken apparated mysteriously onto my desk, and I have a chicken now, which is nice, I think

Anyway this is my bimonthly plurk check-in I hope you all are well

pip!!!! i hope youre feeling good and enjoying ur job

HI TORI honestly I am sick and today was terrible because I had my very first run in with a genuinely shit coworker but I think if it took two months to finally find a single person who kind of sucks that’s pretty good

Overall I’m still extremely happy with it and my boss is still amazing, he handled the thing today really well

I'm sad it was not a real chicken

omg I fucking love chickens I’d be over the moon if it was a real chicken

like also sort of concerned, but

also your pfp is really cute

Actually do you want to know my real sadness

despite its appearance, it does not squeak

I'm glad work has been pretty good!

Also wow what kind of chicken is a chicken that does not squeak

I literally knew it was you, Asher, because of your display name, and that is very funny to me when I do not even plurk anymore

Also I know right what a travesty

It is an extremely floppy chicken though

I guess.... it’s got that going for it

asherdashery: also it gives me joy to look at your plurk and see you have HGW brainrot right now. it is making me laugh a lot

LOOK

WHEN DO I NOT

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

look

no I get it it’s relatable content

but also: I’m laughing at your suffering because you’re never, ever escaping that hell

whenever I return from the dead enough to AU with you again, we should return to our HS AU, but also, what if HGW

why am I making fun of you for being in hell when my literal first impulse is “how quickly can I join you”

SHUT THE FUCK

I still wanna do that P5 mashup AU

With Kvothe and Therion and everybody

taped to the ceiling.....

nightstarfever: taped to the ceiling upside down

by their little feets

next time I’m im the office I’ll get a pic it’s so ridiculous

they’re like tiny ritual offerings

this is the greatest thing I've ever heard god bless

this is NOT really a casual office either

and yet: chickens, hidden chickens, everywhere if you know where to look

Like if you don’t pay attention you won’t notice them but there’s actually so many fucking chickens

I s2g I’ll take more pics if I go in again this week

I’m disturbed yet elated to know a person existed who 1) bought bizarre floppy chickens and 2) used them as disciplinary projectiles

I love you, former colleague I never met

The fact that someone drew the "^_^" eyes on it is absolutely sending me

i love that they just left them

literally everyone appARENTLY was just like

I guess we just have chickens now

and just kept all these fucking chickens

And they’re in all shapes and sizes and colors

My coworker next to me has one that’s bright green

pumpkins have also materialized all over the place so like I guess those things just happen here

I am having flashbacks to the duck fountain near my old job

the

the hm?

There is a fountain and someone put some rubber duckies in it, and then they just. Multiplied. Exponentially

omfg

I LOVE THAT SO MUCH

EXPONENTIALLY

By the end there were probably like 50 rubber duckies in this fountain, it was hysterical

humans are good sometimes

AND THERE WERE BOATS

BOATS!!!!!!!!!

People also put in boats and put some of the rubber duckies on the boats

i love pure chaos

It was legitimately one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life

I cannot begin to express the extent of my delight

I’m somehow now feeling like I should continue the chicken tradition

or get them, like, some hats or something

I wonder if I still have my bag of tiny Santa hats

Do it

I must attempt to locate my tiny Santa hat collection

I don’t know if it survived my move cross country

But if it did: chickens in tiny Santa hats

extremely, extremely, extremely belated realization

why the fuck is there a roll of bubble wrap on my desk

I literally haven’t questioned that for hours

why the fuck is that there

what the fuck who put that there

WHO IS PUTTING SHIT ON MY DESK? HELLO?

disturbing thought: I sat at my desk all damn day and did not notice the chicken until 3 PM

I’ve stared at this picture for 2 hours and still didn’t notice the bubble wrap

they pay me money to be good at noticing details