every time i get to a point where im like "hey, i think i can finally do some toplevels and tag-ins and get back to doing this stuff i love" the bottom just falls out on me again :')

admittedly what im dealing with now is less like. something is objectively Happening To Me Right Now and moreso just a year's worth of exhaustion and grief catching up to me after a string of abusive jobs, health crises, and family trauma

so theres every chance that ill be able to take some time to recover and get back on my feet, but everything has been so completely unpredictable that i dont feel like i can make promises anymore

i miss linhardt and i want to actually do stuff at folkmore but like. at this point i barely have the energize to socialize with anybody, never mind rp

so uh. yeah, that's my update for today. im trying to get stuff figured out, trying to get back on medications and start treating the stuff that's been hitting a breaking point this year after almost a decade of docs refusing to help, but i dont really know how long its going to take

or whether or not some other unexpected personal crisis is going to spring on me while im working on it

mostly im just like. frustrated because i know i keep saying ill be returning to rp soon and ive been saying that basically all year, and i know it makes me look flaky but its really genuinely not the case

im not gonna list out everything thats happened because its really not necessary but like. 2022 just has been one of the absolute worst years of my life