So I figure asking actual people might help!

Do you guys have a bed you'd recommend and/or a bed/company to warn me to stay away from?

(when everybody claims to be the best/unparalleled at thing x... at least one of them has to be outright lying and/or exaggerating)

(feel free to replurk if you know somebody who'd want to contribute advice!)

(not sure if I know someone who would in particular, but I could replurk in case someone on my timeline knows someone...?)

that works too!

Do you need a lot of support/firmness?

yeah, I think so. my hips and knees hyperflex in bed. and in most of the mattresses I've had, my butt/hips sink so far because that's where most of my fat is and that makes my back ache so much more than it already does

the recommendations seem to be saying medium to firm? but when I've tried medium in mattress stores the hip sinking is right away. (on the other bed the extra firm bed I bought ... stayed extra firm for about two months and I've had the sinking ever since.)

I don't have chronic pain or anything, but I swear sometimes for the butt sinking issue, I've really just thought "I should sleep on a board with a mattress topper on it. T_T I don't have any tips or advice, but good luck with this

I got a BigFig mattress, it's meant for heavy people so it's super durable. I've had it for a few years now and it's amazing. still lots of firm

I mean I have slept on a mattress topper on the floor before, and it's great about the hip sinking issue? it's not so great for my other pain and joint issues.

I'll look into bigfig!

Hello! I have severe chronic pain. I purchased a Purple Hybrid 4. Would not give it back for anything. I adore it.

I'll look into Purple too!

housemate and I both have The Pain but hers is surgery-tier; we have Tuft&Needle's default/discount option and are three years into using them?

It does, has started having kind of a "scoop" where I lay, but that's actually better for my needs. It sounds like it might not work the best for yours though.

Warning: Purple ain’t cheap. 3 if you’re a back sleeper/need back support/heavier person, 4 if you’re a side sleeper.

Tuft and Needle was on the list google gave me. And yeah a scoop/indent would make things worse for me. Hmm. Maybe I'll cross them off.

Purple looks interesting. I sleep on both back and side... 4?

... no looks like 3 would be the best for me? but oof yes very expensive

I sleep on both and use my 4 happily. I laid on a 3 and 4 at a store for over an hour to decide.

I accepted the heavy price because of a few reasons: it really does help with the pain on my shoulders since it gives under my shoulder. The bigger one was that two friends of mine- a couple, one of which is heavier- told me that in the almost decade they’ve

had their purple, it hasn’t bowed in at all. Same as when they bought it.

Also it stays really cool at all times which is really nice.

However, I ended up also buying a medical pillow that helped majorly as well - look up ‘medicline’.

those are definitely plusses! I like the cool bit. (my pillows make me so sweaty when it's hot, even though they're supposed to be cooling pillows)

ooh, new pillow idea! I'll definitely look that up.

their pillows look so neat!

one of my friends got a purple after a bad car accident that she still has back issues from and swears by it... but she's fairly average in size... Another one of my friends with chronic pain post-military service was also looking into purple several years ago... I'll ask him if he tried it. He's on the heavier side

I do have a friend who swears by Sleep Number, but those are super pricey

oof yeah. They're on par price-wise with Temper-Pedic (which if they remade the classic I would go for but they never will)

The medicline has been a very welcomed addition. It does take a little while to get used to but once you do.. lovely.

I'm happy with my mattress, but it sounds like we have very different problem areas.

My recommendation would mostly apply to shoulder and spine dislocations.

so if you're in an area that has a big mall it's worth looking if the online mattress stores have an outlet at the mall like my local big mall has a Casper mattress storefront a purple mattress store Front Tempur-Pedic like the big names that do sell on storefront and you can literally just go in and tell them look I'm not going to buy today I just want

to try out the mattresses and then lay on them for 45 minutes to an hour in different sleep positions however you sleep. I will say that while I have a Casper mattress that I really like. the purple three was my first choice and having tried it in person it does sleep cool it doesn't scoop under my back and hips which I have moderate lordosis and a

hypermobile pelvis so well it's not as bad as your issues it's somewhat similar laying on my back on the purple three was great four was best for side sleeping but I rotate between my back and each side so the three was the best but try them out but yeah they're they're super pricey. the other thing to look at is an adjustable bed base

I will look for a storefront. There are a couple big malls. and a bunch of mattress stores.

Drive by stranger says: I have a sleep number because my rheumatologist wanted me to have something that was pressure responsive. The sleepnumber store people were extremely good and the mattress has been enormously helpful, my hips don't dislocate in my sleep anymore!

I may have to reconsider them. My hips don't dislocate in bed, but they sure do get into positions that stress the connective tissue and muscle around them a lot.

I have had 0 hip subluxations and only 1 shoulder since getting this mattress a year ago. Previously I had one or two a month and my shoulders were out almost every day. But it doesn't have to be SN so much as any mattress that has active pressure response technology

If the mattress can mold around the joint and keep it safe and cradled instead of pushing back against it, it will help in that way. Such a life changer. Definitely broke the bank big time, but it was worth it

I couldn't really afford Purple. I got a Stearns and Foster recommended for stomach sleepers from Sleep Outfitters. I really love it and have been sleeping a lot better, with a lot less pain and tossing and turning, but this mattress has a rep for sinking in after a couple of years. Getting the Purple might be better if you can swing it.

I think mine is Estate Hurston which is pretty much an entry level Stearns and Foster, but it's made a difference. Estate Rockwell might be a better choice if you go in that direction. Try Mattress Firm for Purple -- the stores are everywhere and they'll let you try all the different Purple mattresses.

ooh, Mattress firm has purple to try? I'll definitely check it out!

Purple looks different when I see it in commercials, is it different?

I don't know?

Naturalcyber: Yep! That's where I laid on it for hours XD

vongolan: Looked pretty much like what I expected it to? There's the purple and the purple hybrid which are a bit diff

good to know. I think there's a mattress firm really close

I had a really good experience at the nearby steinhafels. salesperson knew very helpful with things to try, walked me through all the various kinds of beds, the differences and advantages, was respectful and not pushy about stated price range, and actually encouraged me not to buy one right away but to come sleep on it and come back another day

normally I'm not into talking to salespeople but he was super helpful and not at all pushy. and it seems like they will be just as helpful if you say you're not looking to buy that day

they're kind of expensive but maybe a good place to figure out at least what kind of bed you're looking for (and they have a bunch of discount ones in the back too)

vongolan: what do you mean by different?

ah. yeah that is different

it's not fabric (although it does have a cover) it feels like silicone

Ooh I see

yeah

me and one of my friends are very different sizes and shapes but both plus size, and i have fibro; we shared a posture-pedic at an airbnb a while back, for two nights, and both of us woke up in very little pain

i am hypomobile rather than hypermobile, though, so i have different needs there

i have no income rn but my holy grail for when i finally get on ssdi is a ReST smart bed

vongolan: purples definitely don't 'feel' like a normal mattress, but there's little motion transfer, it stays cool, and both somehow gives and supports at the same time which is very strange.

yes, the grid is like a firm gel

also, for a Posture-Pedic... it's unfortunately such a huge line that you'd really need a model name to find one that someone else liked! but it's a starting point. A lot of people also like Beautyrest Black, which iirc is a competitor.

(A lot of mattress brands are owned by two large companies. I want to say it's Sealy and Serta, but I could be remembering wrong.)

I am not surprised by most brands being owned by one or two companies.

Hmmm mattress firm didn't have any purple to try but they had clearance (in returned by someone) Temper that was in my price range. Seems risky but it wasn't far off the feel of the classic.

I don't know. Dilemma!

see if you have an hour to just lay on the tempur with your phone

and ask if it's still under manufacturer warranty even if you cant return it to the store

The store guy said it was under tempers warranty

And it's a little more give than my grandma s bed but I wasn't sinking a lot like with all the other temper beds I've tried