I've got a student who's awkward and a little disruptive but VERY ENTHUSIASTIC

he films my entire class and that makes me feel VERY uncomfortable

vocalizes every thought in his head, loudly, including the ones where he's just repeating the current class conversation while he internalizes what's happening

he's also VERY enthusiastic and kind of working hard to be an entertainer? During the first day introductions, he told everyone his "catchphrase"

When I call on him, he gets up and moves to the front of the room and tries to lead class discussion

and I'm over there like ".............don't want to crush this eager spirit but I did not consent to this"

so I've tried to gently be like "Absolutely! ...now could you please take a seat?"

he'll announce every time he has to go to the bathroom

and I'm just like "....ok you're in college you don't have to do that........................"

"you can just go............."

and today when he decided to take over to go on an irrelevant tangent, he kept like. coming close to me? while also being really sniffly and coughing?

this reads to me (an autistic person who had to be taught this stuff) like an autistic person who was homeschooled ...

and I was just like "..........you are very close to me right now" and he apologized and backed off BUT THEN IMMEDIATELY STARTED TOUCHING THINGS ON MY DESK

saying no to filming should be understood if a firm no is offered, and i'm not sure that's even legal without paying you for it (since he could distribute it?)

it's not uncommon for people to want to record a class and review it later

but uh some of that also sounds like .... other forms of not taught social cues properly, because i do not know any autistics who just touch other people's stuff!

(who knows, maybe everyone else does, most autistics i know are afraid of everyone in the world and would not touch their things, me included)

but i am definitely getting 'previously homeschooled never socialized' vibes.

I don't mind it in theory but I don't like looking down the barrel of someone's phone all class like

I don't want to be someone's tiktok meme

or like if I throw down an F-bomb (or twelve >> ) I don't want to have to deal with someone breaking the safety of the classroom to go around trying to report me or clip out a part where I'm talking about some dead white guy's racism to just the part where I'm reading the racist stuff we're studying

oh MAN yeah that would make me very. no.

i'm p sure it's legit for you to ask him not to record because that's sketchy and unsafe for you??

but yeah idk I want to make sure everyone has a good time, and I definitely don't want to encourage the rest of the class to treat him differently

and he doesn't ask before he does things so there's no way for me to subtly acknowledge the weirdness without drawing everyone else's attention to it

he seems very caught up in whatever internal standup routine he's working on, because he struggles with like basic listening skills (part of why I THINK he might need to record a class)

I'll say something to the class and then have to repeat it for him two more times

he's very excited to work on the group project that involves Ms Marvel and when I was going over the team signups with the class, everyone else on the team was like "oh no" when they realized they'd been saddled with him

It's delicate, and I want to be delicate with it

but I also want him to not be in my space

it's super inappropriate to be like "pretend there's a bubble around me and please do not enter the space I have allocated for myself"

"I am wearing two masks what makes you think I want your uncovered sneezes anywhere in my breathing space"

i am suddenly reminded almost EXACTLY of someone i went to high school with ... but that person would be mid-30s so probably not in your class ...

either way yikes good luck!

thank you T_T

I don't know if there's anything to be done but just grin and bear it and hope he chills out on his own

Oh that is a rough spot to be in

I just needed a harmless place to release the energy

oh gosh

plurk is where I come to scream into a pillow about people who will never see it

this is completely different but. I am strongly reminded of the one 8 year old who would HUG ME when she said goodbye after class

and when she did it the second time I had to firmly tell her that we don't do that pls

oh that's a cute age

Take him aside and tell him directly what's wrong after class? Letting him continue like this does him no favors.

I had that problem when I was a kid

I really ... didn't want to be hugged by her.

"HUGS FOR EVERYONE" until someone was like "um that's not okay to do when you don't know someone very well"

yeah I ... had to tell her that I am sorry but I am her tutor and we can't hug students

latinx culture is VERY physical and I didn't understand that not everyone is like that until I started interacting with white people, p much

I also ... really don't want to

I'm so sorry that you have to put up with that bullshit.

I think I was around 7 or 8 when someone had that talk with me, actually

she was just very lonely and ... a literal bitty. so. I felt bad after I learnt more about her and how she has no friends at school

oh yikes, i really hope he chills out but that's just a lot

but I still. couldn't be her friend.

yeah, sometimes you have to tell a kid no

your student sounds like ... IDK

and they're going to have a cry about it but then they know

it was hard being the latina child who hated hugs, so that one I see both sides of in an equally uncomfortable fashion. I wish more teachers had backed me up when I said no touch please actually

it's really not appropriate to hug an adult you have known for 20 mins

yeah LOL usually by the time I meet them, they've already gotten a sense of what is/isn't okay to do in a classroom setting

I think it's wild how different 8 y.o.s can be

we have this one student who is in individual rn bc she keeps getting distracted by everything. so my colleague asked me today if I wanted to take her in his stead and I was like 'thanks but no. I can't do primary school students'

mood

"what do you mean they're too young to vote, don't want this one please take it back:

haha, well I am okay with 5th grade and up

and I have two primary school students who are okay

but they are very calm girls who are very good with instruction and sitting still

I filled in for someone last Saturday and ... longest 45 mins of my life lol

... nope. make that 1.5 hours. I first had a 7 y.o. who kept asking me for help constantly instead of thinking for himself ... and then I had a 14 y.o. who kept playing around with his laser pointer until I told him to put it away before he blinded me lol

He probably needs to film because of some neurodivergence but you could definitely pull him aside and have a talk about some of the disruptive behavior, and maybe just say you prefer to keep a bigger distance from students for health reasons during these covid times

yeah I definitely think....

hm

man this is hard

but you might have to hold him over after class to gently be like. hey. I don't like people touching my things. can we discuss why you're recording all of my lectures, are you finding it difficult to keep up/do you need additional support?

with the current sociopolitical atmosphere I DEFINITELY understand not wanting your lectures recorded.

yeah, I might offer to put him in contact with the disability office - sometimes I can nudge them and be like "I didn't get a message about this person, maybe you could reach out?" and they have the sensitive conversations that I'm not technically allowed to ask about

oh that's a good idea

like I can't be like "you're really strange do you need accommodations" but I really should have gotten an accommodation request for someone like him

so it might be a case where he doesn't even know there's a support structure available

OR he's intensely neurodivergent but also undiagnosed

in my experience as the student who needed some accommodations we were absolutely only allowed to record audio so that may solve the not being unexpectedly on tiktok situation

oh, really? I had no idea there were limitations about that

in a surprise development!! my odd student wore a mask today

without being told

he figured out how stressed I was =*)

I have no way of knowing if anyone else said something to him or if it was genuine insight but I will choose to be touched

oooh

be touched!

even if someone had to tell him, he responded appropriately; I think being touched is appropriate considering he seems to have a hard time taking even more direct signal