dealing with arranging for jack's final days has been the worst. every day i wake up and i'm super good to go and i have breakfasta nd shit and then one thing happens. one small tiny thing randomly pops up and my whole day collapses on me

today it was that the person who cleans my house left a faucet on under a towel in my bathtub so all of my shit got flooded and i didn't notice for a full 24 hours. and when i went to move stuff to clean up i found out one of my candles is broken, and i think she may have done it

which would be literally nothing if she just told me "i think i may have broke one of your candles" but i had to find out myself in the middle of dealing with a soaked-thru mirror and 2 sopping wet towels. literally my brand new mirror's back is completely ruined. it sucks.

so i'm dealing with all of that and then i realize my dl expires on my birhtday, which is next week, convienently right around the time i'm expecting to have to put jack down, because that's totally my fucking luck

and i still haven't gotten my new one, OR my plate tags

so i check and it's like, call this number. and i do, and its a virtual assistent who goes on for a minute solid about smog emmissions before going "sorry you can't actually talk to anyone today, call back tomorrow morning"

and i'm sitting here like. in a week i will be without the only thing in my life that genuinely loves me, i'll be stuck in my house without a liscense, i won't be able to go on a brief vacation and just get away from everything, and life fucking sucks.

i am so fucking depressed and sad and alone and just. tired. i'm tired and i want it to stop

luckily my fear of death keeps me firmly in the "resigned to keep living even though there's no point" frame of mind

and thankfully i know that this too shall pass. everything does. its kind of how my whole life is

i just want to tag and not be weighed down by this huge cloud of just. absolute misery. i want to be happy again. i want to literally feel anything other than "well, here i am again"

so i'm taking the day off. i'm just not going to worry about anything. i wanna go play video games but my roomie is watching the last of us. i dont' give a shit about tlou tho so theres no point watching that

i want you to know i am thinking of you and that is all So Much but you are cared for.

<3 i appreciate it a lot. i'm just really lonely right now irl but you guys have genuinely been so fuckin good for my mental health lmao
i wouldn't be willing to be so open on main if i didn't think i could trust my vulnerability

i did just contact the dmv and they said my lisence was shipped out a month ago. so its lost and i have to call tomorrow to get it reissued

that's literally so much to be dealing with all at once, I'm sorry Kelly. I'm also thinking of you, and sending you lotsa virtual hugs

same, if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to ask

I'm so sorry it's everything happening all at once when you already have your pet to worry about definitely take it easy where possible!!

That doesnt sound like just one little thing 😔 it sounds like you're dealing with a lot, especially negligence-- like how can they just flood your bathroom like that and break your stuff?? All of these things are normally upsetting let alone with jack's situation

bentsage: is it possible to cut the DI snail mail time and go get it in person?

basically she put a towel over the faucet and it turned on to a very slow drip, then the towel soaked it up and basically drained around the tub itself. i've done it myself but i usually catch it p quick

and yeah i would but the dmv requires appointments and they're booked solid for a while. so either way im gonna have to wait

the chat assistant guy said it got shipped mid-feb so i need to call a second number to get it reissued for free sigh

i really do appreciate you guys <3 i feel less crazy already lmfao. just wildly stressed and trying to push through it like a fuckin idiot instead of taking a break

since mid fed?! Omg that's such a long time

I'm sorry you're having such a stroke of bad luck. If you need a distraction or something, please don't hesitate to dm

If you feel lonely maybe we could do a discord call?

im just kinda lethargic lately. i don't really know what i want or need. just being able to say stuff like this and have people acknowledge it rn is good enough for now yk?

itd feel way worse if i was screaming into a void but you guys have been lovely ♥

I'm so sorry all that's happening. It sounds so stressful. As others said, please take it easy and look after yourself