A couple years ago, around the time of the pandemic, I was already in a pretty terrible mental place.

It would be fair to say I was essentially on the verge of a mental breakdown, and the pandemic more or less was the push that sent me tumbling.

The last few years have been

Hectic

But also much better.

I've done a lot in the last few years to grow, which I think I severely needed.

The last time I was on, i was mostly stagnating. And fairly immature, emotionally.

I've gotten to do a lot. I ended up becoming a manager in retail, decided I hated that shit, and finally finished my degree.

I'm not really too much in the hobby anymore. I'm playing in a game, but not playing as much as I had been.

A lot of this was wanting to try and check in on people. I left incredibly suddenly, and suddenly in a way I was constantly doing because I was constantly emotionally rocking back and forth.

I was a real asshole in the way I expressed my emotions.

I leaned on a lot of people to try and make this space a sort of personal therapy, which was atrociously wrong of me.

Part of coming back here was to apologize for that, as well, if anyone will give me a listen.

Even if you don't, I hope you know I've missed you.

And I regret that I let myself get to such a bad place emotionally.

I know there are people who cared about me here, and what I did was shitty on that end as well.

If you see this? I just wanted to let you know I'm okay, and I'm sorry I just sort of fucked off

You don't need to friend me or anything. I'm not expecting that with how quickly and suddenly I letf.

But I did want to give some kind of closure as to what the hell happened to me.

I'm honestly doing great now.

I have a job I had worked years, and years, to get.

Monetary it might not be great, but the amount of fulfillment and joy I've found is wonderful.

I hope, in the three years since? You all have joy as well.

I know the last few years have been terrible.

I hope you found joy still.

And, on top of that? Thank you. It's very obvious, but the...around a decade I was in LJ/Dreamwidth RP I was going through a lot of emotional turmoil.

I won't go into all that it was. It's personal, even now, but with counseling and help I've been coming to terms with it.

But thank you, for having spent that time playing with me. I truly, sincerely enjoyed all of it, and have incredible memories of it.

Thank you. I mean that so deeply, and sincerely, from the bottom of my heart.

You were great people. And at the end of things, I was...very worn down. Emotionally, I hit a fight or flight response with just about everything.

I'm sorry I chose flight.

I hope, despite how awful the last few years have been, you all have had some kind of place to find your own joy and peace.

That's all I wanted to say. You guys are still special in my memory, and I miss you all.

dude, life happens, I'm glad you're okay and it's great to see you again

Hey Katie

It's great to see you again too

How've you been doing since the plague struck the world?

I'm alright, I've been dealing with a lot of changes with my work and surprise mental health issues. These days I'm trying to focus on things that make me happy

working on getting more order and stuff in my life, things like that.

themadmaiden: I'm glad to hear that. It's important to try and find those moments where you can have time with what makes you happy.

Hey bruddah

Hey Nick

I been meaning to catch up with you on Discord but here is as good as there.

How you been doing?

Can't complain. Doing a lot of side work.

How's that been going?

That reminds me, if you haven't heard it, you need to find a way to listen to Space: 1969 by Bill Oakley

I think it'd hit a lot of notes for you

Hey, it's really good to hear from you, James! I'm glad you're in a better spot than you were.

Thanks Terri, it's good to see you too.

I hope you're doing well too. I know it's been a rough year

Or couple years

Doing pretty good. Moved companies right as the pandemic started, but it's worked out well for me in terms of having a much better team I'm working with, overall. And I've met some really cool people I'm working on buying a house with. Things are looking up, even if there are stresses still out there.

hey, james! it's nice to hear that you're doing better, even if it's been a while

switalia: That's good to hear. Buying a house is a damn big move, man. I hope that goes smoothly.

oliviousness: Hey Olivia. It's good to hear from you again too. Hope it's going well.

James!! Hey!! I'm glad you're back and doing okay!

Thanks Sora! I appreciate it a lot

I've found a good place for myself in life, so I think I was ready to come back

I was. Uh. A mess for a while.

Really, I wanted people to know I’m doing alright with his abrupt my leaving was.

holy blast from the past! hi James!

i hope you're well

Hey my friend

It’s good to see you Lam

Or Lan even

How have you been doing? I know things had sounded tough before I skedaddled.

i'm hanging in there best i can

I know it’s rough, but I know you’ve got this

One day we'll get Jambes out to a LARP. if cass can do it, so can he.

Speaking of, Cass stopped by about a month ago

She seems to be doing pretty good

I love Cass

She’s a great lady

I unfortunately didn’t get to see her much but I’m glad she got to visit

JAAAAAAMES! Oh my god I was just wondering not too long ago how you were doing and if you were going to come back to dwrp

Welcome back! I'm glad you're doing better!

Disasterkins: dude, it’s so good to see you again. I was actually going through old mayfield threads to try and find a Major thread for friend and fell down a Pokey and Slugger memory hole. I’ve missed you.

hydok: thanks man. I’m glad to see you guys again.

Very glad to hear you're doing well and that you got out of retail hell. Congrats on doing something you enjoy!

It’s been life changing

Sincerely life changing

I also got of retail hell and got a new job exactly a year ago. We've escaped!! high five

High five for real dude. What’re you doing nowadays?

Job-wise medical billing. It's so nice to be in an office and sitting down. Beats the shit out of standing on concrete all day. Rp-wise I'm still active. I'm not in any games or anything. I usually play on memes or psls.

Got that right. I’m working in a supported living facility and doing CPE, a type of training, at a pediatric hospital. I play at Expiation at the moment myself.

jambesthename: ooh! omg were you the person Cass was visiting after she flew out of philly?

bc she crashed at my place the night before. what a coincidence

I’m part of the friend group she was visiting yeah

Unfortunately I was in bed by the time she showed, but I woke up while she was at i and my roomie’s house since my dog woke me up

nice! what a small world

Good for you! Sounds much more rewarding than the drain of retail.

It definitely has been way more rewarding

jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaames

i was literally thinking about you last week

Treeek

What’s been up Trek?

I'm so glad you're back! I was really worried when you suddenly disappeared, good to know you're doing okay!

Hey there! It’s good to see you.

I feel genuinely bad I sorta just yeeted myself out

I could have handled it much better

oh damn, james, it's been a dog's age.

You probably already know this given you found my new plurk but I go by Sven now! It's good to see you.

Sup Sven

It’s good to fucking see you dude

Yeah! Happy to see you're still kickin'.

I'm stronger than I have been in a long time. How've you been holding up?

i'm vibin. I'm running my own game now! coming up on a year of it

Nice! What game is that?

Well, I can't say this past like... decade has been entirely kind, but! I'm here, I'm alive, I'm in a good position.

svensational: I can relate to that too well

I hope it gets better mon ami

Captcha Check my child

Nice

It's so good to hear from you again! I remember I took a Plurk break about the same time that you left and when I got back I noticed you had gone

I always felt bad not being able to say goodbye, but welcome back and I'm glad to hear you're doing so much better!

Wighty my man it is awesone to see you again too.

How’ve you been doing the past few years man.

like everyone else the pandemic has destroyed my sense of time and self

who am i

where is this

otherwise decent! i am unsure if i've been doing anything useful with my life but I've been enjoying the teaching

I’m pretty sure we’re all in the singularity

We are as to each other as ourselves

But I’m glad to hear you’re doing decent, and I’m sure you’re doing something useful.

Sometimes the kids drive me insane and sometimes I feel like I’m changing the world

I can get that feeling man

It’s a wild fucking slide

Oh hi! Haha I feel like we hadn't chatted in a hot minute even before you vanished but I always liked seeing you around. I have been pretty quiet lately myself so I'm happy to have been in your thoughts after all this time. Also, I just escaped retail hell literally this week! I have been training for my new WFH job

Also I played Numbuh One in a murdergame semi recently so I had all the Mayfield KND old guard in the back of my mind a lot lol

deathdesu: I still maintain that castle w nigel meeting WTL Eliza would be the funniest shit

I'm sure it would