If you never jumped from one couch to another to avoid the lava, then you didn't have a childhood.

When I send a risky text to someone and they take forever to reply, I'm sitting there looking all worried .

Saying "never mind" because you're to lazy to repeat yourself..

It's funny how the people you meet in the weirdest ways are usually the most amazing.

My cell phone is my watch, camera, flashlight, calculator and so much more.

The moment Bruno Mars doesn't catch a grenade for you because he's having a lazy day. And you die.

First day of school: WOO! SCHOOL! Second day of school: Dude, how many more days till summer.

Why the hell is Friday so close to Monday but Monday is so far from Friday?

My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.

Staying up late every night, regretting it every morning, then doing it all over again.