Iiiiiirritated.

...Dude, someone just tried to cut in line at the gas place and had no idea how to handle it when I pulled up next to them and politely told them they'd cut in front of me

I am dogsitting 4 dogs and the neighbor's 3 dogs are wandering over for a visit

I just spent five minutes figuring out how to send my brother a sarcastic clapping emoticon while texting. I have important priorities in life

That moment when you know you're pale: You order a highlighter, and seriously consider returning it because you think they accidentally sent you a bronzer before you realize that you're just that pale.

My dad's dog spent the entire car ride into work falling half-off the seat because there wasn't room for both him and the other dog but desperately playing the floor is lava and trembling

I have been adulting all goddamn morning and I want some ice cream

yessss figleaves has a 20% off sale and a matching bikini top to my stray bikini bottom that I am eternally bitter over

There is nothing better than having an entire pizza for lunch

Man, it's amazing how much better I feel when I get enough sleep after several days going around short on it