Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.