Josh said to me tonight: "When I think of all the things I want to do in life, I picture someone by my side, and that person is you."
And he said that in 20 years from now he pictures me at his side. I played it cool because I still don't trust him but inside: 
aww cute! 
I know. I had to keep a straight face but it was hard.
I've waited so long, it makes me all emotional.
He also was like "I feel like no matter what happens, we'll always find our way back to each other. Do you feel that way too?"
Inside i'm all 
Outside I'm all stoneface
Outside I'm all stoneface rose: good! that's how it needs to be until you find that you can trust him again... and you shouldn't be quick to trust him either...
but eventually it'll come 
Awwwwww.