rather than you bringing it to me, a professional, and paying me to do something you know nothing about

excuse me, installing a motherboard in your "modem"

because your monitor is obviously the "computer", like you said

sometimes I want to punch customers in the head

I'm a bourbon man, but I like the way you think

And just say "no".

Bourbon and Scotch are the same. It says so, right here in my modem.

Dang, Ceejay, what sort of flamewar are you trying to start in here?

So are you going to install the Microsoft on that computer when you're done?

sell him some rams to increase his modem processor size.