hmmm...what is wrong? Did you try talking to him/her

i've tried. he doesn't know. but he's quick to give up on activities, his appetite is all over the place... etc etc etc

uh-oh, that can't be good.. see a doctor?

perhaps. mostly just trying to prod him into doing activities i know he loves and hopefully that will help get him into a better space.

Does he get like this often during the winter? Or is this the first time he's done it?

I do it every winter like clockwork...and was diagnosed with SAD(Seasonal Affective Disorder) by my therapist.

I try to get outside as much as I can bear just to get sun and it helps a bit.

i don't think it's SAD

i think it's a combination of having moved away from a lot of his regular routine and exercise and just not establishing a new one

That and the HUGE adjustment of figuring out how to have true down time and time that's together but not intense and Date time where one

is really intensely present and "with" one's partner.

That's a tough thing to do sometimes, too.

I really hope you guys manage it.

we will

some things take time and patience

I believe it! You don't strike me as the type of person to just let things fall into a bad way!

I agree!

thanks!

so happy to see someone so willing to work at a good relationship!

Believe it or not, most people would just let it go.

People are selfish nowadays.

They are! it's terrible! (Also, I think it took me having some bad relationships to really appreciate how special and good this one is)

You know, that's probably part of it too.

(I'm also guilty of being selfish from time to time, but dammit, at least I'm aware of it! And have tempered it to 'It is okay to be

selfish sometimes, about some things.

But not all the time about all things b/c then ... well no one can live up to that)

Oh hell, I'm just as guilty of being selfish sometimes. We all can be. And a little bit of selfishness isn't necessarily a bad

thing. I'm talking about the "I wanna be in a relationship, but also wanna have fun with other guys/girls and do all the things

single people get to do...without the one I'm in a relationship with" kind of selfishness.

There's no "our life" any more, it's all "MY life".

yeah.

it's a balance.

Sam and I definitely have "our life" that belongs to us... but i think it's important that we each have bits that belong to us individually

It is important. That way you don't lose yourselves completely.

well, and it gives you something interesting to share with each other

i was dating a guy once who asked me if i would date myself. to which i said no.

which caused raised eyebrows and then he asked why (turns out his view is that people wouldn't date themselves b/c of what amounted to

low self-esteem)

my answer, of course was 'well... i'd highlight all of my strengths. but i'd also be really annoyed by all of my weaknesses and wouldn't

have much support in working on them

that and i learn a lot more from people who aren't like me than from people who are.

I think dating a person who's just like you is boring.

that too

he and i didn't last long. this one is much much better. he just needs some help lowering activation energy to do things he loves