Girl: "I sing like a star!" Me: "Bitch, please. Take off your headphones and hear your actual voice."
Boy: "I wanna be a superhero, guess my name." Girl: "Superman? Ironman?" Boy: "(smile) YOURMAN"
A true friend is someone who still believes in you, even after you've stopped believing in yourself.
Boy- "Are you mad at me?" Girl- "Nope." Translation- "Yes, I'm actually really pissed off, but you're not gonna do anything about it."
Hindi daw ako open-minded na tao. Sarado ang utak ko. Pati puso ko sarado na din. Kasi nga, ayaw kitang pakawalan.
Suicide bomber: "EVERYONE HAS 1 MINUTE TO GET OUT OF THE PET STORE" Turtle: "You bastard"
Smiling at someone that hates you just to piss them off even more.
I've never seen a McDonalds or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.
Don't look back on anything with regret, just treat it as an important life experience.