The year's first 30km rollerblade ended with Egg McMuffins and a Big Gulp. Next week I'll save calories by eating an entire sugared ham.

Watching Hunt for Red October. I love Sean Connery's character. You can really believe he's a mysoginistic Scotsman.

I have a feeling that if my grandpa's last name were Carlo instead of Cristo, my uncle would still be named Monte.

I'm wondering if CoffeeMeat would be that much worse than CoffeeMate. It really hinges on the type of meat.

Going to go buy pop at the wholesale club. ping.fm/It6qx

I'm sorry, but I'm terribly nearsighted when it comes to looking at your rack.

Until tonight, I'd never used a bathroom where pissing on your hands was preferable to using the sink.

I'm pretty sure my family motto is a four-letter-word.

If the taste of this UFC-endorsed energy drink means anything, these guys subsist entirely on hog sweat and urine.

Join me on a boring walk home: ping.fm/Ael0f